Please do not hover if you're not my mother

[adalger]

I went to brunch today at Denny's with my roommate and my children. I had slept late, and rather than make everyone wait while I found something in the kitchen (and energy to cook), I chose to take us all out. Denny's is my favorite place for that purpose, as it's the closest place I can sit down and let someone else bring me food and coffee. Also, I've been going there so long, I have friends on every shift.

Today, when we got there, my son was finishing up his bottle in the carrier-style car seat. I wasn't sure whether he was going to stay awake or fall asleep when he was done, so I had left him in it sitting on the chair next to me. When he was done, he did in fact stay awake, so my roommate (who also is my daycare provider when I go to work) suggested feeding him to keep him on the schedule she keeps during the week. To this end, I asked for a high chair to move him into.

While waiting for the high chair, I picked up the son and held him on my lap. I moved my coffee over to the corner of the table on the side away from my son so he couldn't reach it. When the high chair arrived, the server (naturally) set it on the end of the table where I was, but my roommate offered to feed him, so I reached over to slide the high chair around, careful to reach outside my coffee cup before grabbing it.

And now we reach the truly offensive part of the story. As I sat there with one hand on the high chair and the other arm around the baby, this lady walked up and said to me, "Before you do anything else ..." next, she reached out, grabbed my coffee cup and slid it over in front of me. Her explanation: "I'm a hoverer."

Madame Hoverer, DO NOT TOUCH THINGS ON OTHER PEOPLE'S TABLES AT RESTAURANTS. Completely aside from the implications that I'm too stupid to remember where my coffee cup is, too careless to make sure I'm not going to dump it on my child, and too oblivious to be able to rearrange one piece of furniture without causing a disaster, you have now put your stranger's hands all over something that's going in my mouth.

After I got the baby settled, I noticed she was still at the counter paying her check, so I took the opportunity to make the message clear. Rather than wait for my server, I carried my coffee cup up to the counter, set it down next to Madame Hoverer, and politely asked for a clean cup.