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“Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.”
-Someone I don't know on Facebook
Rather than hijack someone else's journal to rant in the comments, I'm going to make my own post to list the reasons I despise this statement.
As written, it reads to me as "Sometimes you put walls up not because they're legitimate boundaries, but because you feel like creating an artificial obstacle to test the people who say the love you, because you want them to play your game but you can't be bothered to tell them the rules."
There are some of us who have enough problems navigating social situations as it is, without make-believe rules that we're supposed to figure out when to ignore. We already get into enough trouble for breaking the rules we just plain can't figure out, and don't follow because we don't understand them well enough to know what to do. Having lines drawn that we're supposed to ignore violates all the self-training we've done trying to learn to function at all.
Some of us build walls to keep the fucking prisoners where they belong. Having people going around teaching everybody that "walls need to be torn down" has created a whole slew of self-proclaimed do-gooders going around setting free the dangerous and destructive lunatics we've locked up for a good reason.
Sometimes we build walls because we have a zoo full of dangerous animals, and we're so damned tired of you PETA freaks going around and "returning them to their natural habitat" and then suing us when the dangerous animals go around eating babies.
Sometimes we need our boundaries respected, and we're trying to do the right thing and respect yours in return as we've been told all our lives we need to do. We've drilled this into our consciousness, that appropriate behavior means staying out of where you're not welcome, and learned to put up BEWARE OF DOG and NO TRESPASSING and DANGER - KEEP OUT signs, and we expect that to have a certain meaning: the meaning we were taught. When you change that, you fuck up the lesson that "no means no." You tell us that, for all our trying, we still can't even read. You tell us we're not good enough to be your friend because we're not psychic. You tell us we don't have the right to control our own emotions.
tl;dr version: You stay on your side of the line, I'll stay on mine. If you want me to come in, open the fucking door when I knock. I shouldn't have to come with a bulldozer to say "good morning."
-Someone I don't know on Facebook
Rather than hijack someone else's journal to rant in the comments, I'm going to make my own post to list the reasons I despise this statement.
As written, it reads to me as "Sometimes you put walls up not because they're legitimate boundaries, but because you feel like creating an artificial obstacle to test the people who say the love you, because you want them to play your game but you can't be bothered to tell them the rules."
There are some of us who have enough problems navigating social situations as it is, without make-believe rules that we're supposed to figure out when to ignore. We already get into enough trouble for breaking the rules we just plain can't figure out, and don't follow because we don't understand them well enough to know what to do. Having lines drawn that we're supposed to ignore violates all the self-training we've done trying to learn to function at all.
Some of us build walls to keep the fucking prisoners where they belong. Having people going around teaching everybody that "walls need to be torn down" has created a whole slew of self-proclaimed do-gooders going around setting free the dangerous and destructive lunatics we've locked up for a good reason.
Sometimes we build walls because we have a zoo full of dangerous animals, and we're so damned tired of you PETA freaks going around and "returning them to their natural habitat" and then suing us when the dangerous animals go around eating babies.
Sometimes we need our boundaries respected, and we're trying to do the right thing and respect yours in return as we've been told all our lives we need to do. We've drilled this into our consciousness, that appropriate behavior means staying out of where you're not welcome, and learned to put up BEWARE OF DOG and NO TRESPASSING and DANGER - KEEP OUT signs, and we expect that to have a certain meaning: the meaning we were taught. When you change that, you fuck up the lesson that "no means no." You tell us that, for all our trying, we still can't even read. You tell us we're not good enough to be your friend because we're not psychic. You tell us we don't have the right to control our own emotions.
tl;dr version: You stay on your side of the line, I'll stay on mine. If you want me to come in, open the fucking door when I knock. I shouldn't have to come with a bulldozer to say "good morning."
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(PS - You don't suck! :) )