Trigger warnings apply

I am in a pretty awful place in my head just now. There's a great deal of dark and terrible in my past -- things that I am never going to talk about -- that weigh down on me beyond endurance sometimes. It's tough, y'know, when you see people who talk about how you don't deserve to be alive, and they're people you like and admire and respect, and you kinda think they're right. It's tough when it's your friends saying things like that, and reminding you that you don't even have the right to want someone to care about how close you are to buying into it.

Sometimes, mistakes are permanent. Thirty years have not made mine fade very much at all.