A Pose Held in Evening

[adalger]

She stretches forth her arm, her open hand,
Averts her pallid face, and lifts her chin
As if she's had this whole encounter planned.

Her pose insists: "I know you understand.
You know my need. Now let the game begin."
She stretches forth her arm, her open hand.

Her finger, scarred, recalls her wedding band,
Removed in contemplation of this sin
As if she's had this whole encounter planned.

She waits there, silent, full of cold demand,
A waxen lover made of parrafin.
She stretches forth her arm, her open hand.

She is a statue sculpted out of sand
That starts to crumble as the tide comes in
As if she's had this whole encounter planned.

And at the edge of darkness, there I stand,
So captivated by this mannequin.
She stretches forth her arm, her open hand,
As if she's had this whole encounter planned.

Comments

[xaea]

a lovely rhythm for such a terrible event. this one makes me sad. well-written, as always.

when are you going to share your less-than-stellar pieces?? surely, for the sake of my envy, there are some? ♥

[adalger]

Out of curiosity, what's the terrible event you see? (And if you want less-than-stellar, check out the sestina I perpetrated. ;) )

[xaea]

maybe our definitions of "less-than-stellar" are different...

maybe i am too easily amazed by words. maybe i am too easily amazed by YOUR words. maybe words are too easy for you.

at any rate, i was not properly unimpressed by your sestina and now i am slightly greener. it's an enchanting green, however, and i am inclined to see if i can dance with words half as well as you can. :)

The Terrible Event...forgive me for my self-centeredness in this case, but this piece reminds me of me. and that is all i will say about it in public.

[adalger]

If this piece reminds you of you, it's working. My vision of poetry is as a place for a reader to find hirself.

Personally, I haven't decided what I see in this. There's either a lonely man of questionable reliability as narrator staring at a mannequin through the display window of a closed department store, or an elderly widow inviting Death (as a personification) (or possibly a vampire) to come take her away now that the love upon whom she has built her life is gone so she can meet the end on her own terms.

And obviously, if I wrote it and can't quite be sure what it means, there's plenty of room for your own interpretation. :)

[xaea]

really?? really, adalger? i am tempted to believe you are putting me on.

to my eyes, you have painted quite clearly a picture of the adulterous woman and the destruction she leaves behind.

in fact, it is SO clear to me, i was sure it was the picture you originally intended to paint. and it is still so clear that, as i started off saying, i am tempted to believe you are putting me on.

[xaea]

at a MINIMUM, it is a man contemplating a mannequin in a department store and doing so in the context of a recent affair-gone-sour. at a minimum.

the words have spoken and they leave no room for the belief that this piece ISN'T about adultery.

seriously.

[adalger]

I'm not putting you on at all, honestly. To me, at least one of the people involved here is imaginary. If it's the woman, then the man is probably fantasizing about an adulterous context at least, but if you recall, the frame of reference through which I view adultery sees only the implied deception of removing the wedding ring (two deceptions maybe; the attempted one of the man involved, and hiding the action from a living husband as could also be inferred) as an actual wrong against anyone.

I think it's the ambiguity of "this sin" that's really opening up the variety of interpretations. In my worldview, to deceive another is the greatest sin of all. (I think I'm quoting someone, but I don't remember who.) However, in Christian interpretation, both adultery and suicide are sins as well, and most of the Christian faiths recognize contemplation of and desire to commit sinful acts as sins themselves.

I'm not saying I have anything against your interpretation. I'm just pretentious and egotistical enough to hold it as a mark of quality that it can evoke such completely different, yet still valid, meanings to different people who bring different viewpoints to the reading. ;)

[xaea]

a charming pretentiousness, at least from this distance. ;)

it IS very neat that it can be so differently interpreted. your end goal in writing it is very different from mine -- i always write with a very specific interpretation in mind. but it doesn't bother me (and i fully expect) for it to be interpreted at least slightly different from my own design, and often totally different from my own design.

as always, your writing inspires me. :)