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Wednesday, June 15th, 2011 10:15 pm
She stretches forth her arm, her open hand,
Averts her pallid face, and lifts her chin
As if she's had this whole encounter planned.

Her pose insists: "I know you understand.
You know my need. Now let the game begin."
She stretches forth her arm, her open hand.

Her finger, scarred, recalls her wedding band,
Removed in contemplation of this sin
As if she's had this whole encounter planned.

She waits there, silent, full of cold demand,
A waxen lover made of parrafin.
She stretches forth her arm, her open hand.

She is a statue sculpted out of sand
That starts to crumble as the tide comes in
As if she's had this whole encounter planned.

And at the edge of darkness, there I stand,
So captivated by this mannequin.
She stretches forth her arm, her open hand,
As if she's had this whole encounter planned.
Friday, June 17th, 2011 01:49 pm (UTC)
a lovely rhythm for such a terrible event. this one makes me sad. well-written, as always.

when are you going to share your less-than-stellar pieces?? surely, for the sake of my envy, there are some? ♥
Friday, June 17th, 2011 03:50 pm (UTC)
maybe our definitions of "less-than-stellar" are different...

maybe i am too easily amazed by words. maybe i am too easily amazed by YOUR words. maybe words are too easy for you.

at any rate, i was not properly unimpressed by your sestina and now i am slightly greener. it's an enchanting green, however, and i am inclined to see if i can dance with words half as well as you can. :)

The Terrible Event...forgive me for my self-centeredness in this case, but this piece reminds me of me. and that is all i will say about it in public.
Friday, June 17th, 2011 04:19 pm (UTC)
really?? really, adalger? i am tempted to believe you are putting me on.

to my eyes, you have painted quite clearly a picture of the adulterous woman and the destruction she leaves behind.

in fact, it is SO clear to me, i was sure it was the picture you originally intended to paint. and it is still so clear that, as i started off saying, i am tempted to believe you are putting me on.
Friday, June 17th, 2011 04:22 pm (UTC)
at a MINIMUM, it is a man contemplating a mannequin in a department store and doing so in the context of a recent affair-gone-sour. at a minimum.

the words have spoken and they leave no room for the belief that this piece ISN'T about adultery.

seriously.
Friday, June 17th, 2011 05:19 pm (UTC)
a charming pretentiousness, at least from this distance. ;)

it IS very neat that it can be so differently interpreted. your end goal in writing it is very different from mine -- i always write with a very specific interpretation in mind. but it doesn't bother me (and i fully expect) for it to be interpreted at least slightly different from my own design, and often totally different from my own design.

as always, your writing inspires me. :)